Don't Stop Believin'.....

....Trying to remind myself of this....it's rough today.

To say that today is rough might be the understatement of the year.  I am exhausted.  I have worked out 10 of the last 13 days.  Starting  today (for the rest of this week), I will be working 10-14 hour days until Friday.  I am sure that a bit of my exhaustion might be from just thinking about this week.  I have carved out an hour each day to still get my workout in, too.  Today, I am set to workout with Kathleen...and I am just dreading it.  Not because I am afraid she will give me things that I can't do, but because I am just plain tired.  My legs feel like lead, my joints hurt...and I am whooped.  I know that I will need a few more days of rest here soon, but that may not happen until Friday or Saturday.

Today, today, today...trying to live in today.  This is rough.  I decided for some dumb reason to weight myself this morning.  WTF was I thinking?!  It was at my home, and it was my scale...it showed that I was up to 210.  WHAT?!  I feel (felt) so good!  How can I weigh more?  I mean...I have until tomorrow for my real weight in, but is it feasible for me to drop this 4 pounds to show even a 1 pound loss this week?!  (close your eyes for those of you who hate cussing) FUCK!

Now, realistically I knew this could happen. I could be retaining water weight, I could have gained muscle, I could _____.  However, I just wasn't expecting this.  I ran intervals yesterday, and I haven't felt that good running in about 2 years.  I took that as a really good sign of other things...which was probably a bit too optimistic.  Damnit.  I will not let this control & defeat me.

I will honestly say that my eating over the weekend could have been a little more spot on (had 2 cheat meals....a few drinks at my friend's going away party), but I did workout (which is a heck of a lot more than I used to do on weekends).  I felt good coming out of the weekend.  Now, I feel like pooh.

Okay....so, I'm going to take control of this.  I'm going to feel better today, & make it through with a better attitude.  I have to.  I'm the only one that can make myself better.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit."
Aristotle