I have a big butt (and I can't deny)...

Yep, that's me on the right.  I'm little in the middle, but I've got much back. Sir Mix A Lot released that song in my 8th grade year, and it has haunted me ever since.  See, I was blessed with a great last name (Back), and I just so happen to have always had an ass.  I'm not ashamed of it, I like having a derriere that men look at.  However, it's all the extras that go along with it that keep me from being so thrilled.  I've got Back, Leg, Hip, Belly, & Arm.  I don't want it, but I have it.  So, now is the time to get rid of it.

Don't get me wrong, I like some things about being a bigger girl (having a D-cup has its advantages), but it's time to change.  I don't want to risk my health, and leading a long life because I carry too much excess body fat.  I've done the yo-yo diets, the weight watchers, the boot camps (literally, I was in the Navy), and the starving myself.  None of these  have worked long term.  So, I'm looking for a real-life, long-term solution to always being the "bigger" girl.  I'm not perfect, and I won't get through this without hiccups & mistakes.  However, I am going to try, and I want this.  So, let's go.

When I got out of High School I weight 148 pounds (at 5'5"), and I was always considered a big girl.  Guys in my school didn't want to date me, because I wasn't a stick figure.  I had defined abs that I loved to show off, and my legs were big, but solid muscle.  I then went in to the Navy and came out 15 pounds heavier, with even more muscle (I didn't need bigger legs!!).  I had to buy all new clothes, and it was a hard transition for me.  I didn't look at my weight gain as a positive back then, I only saw the number.  This was probably the start of my downward trend of stress/negative thoughts/food consumption.  

I then went off to College at Ohio University (hello hills from hell!), and maintained my weight up until my Sophomore year, when I turned 21.  Oh...beer..how I love thee!  Going out 3-4 nights a week, eating after we would get home, and not getting in exercise took it's toll quickly.  I soon was up to 183 pounds, buying bigger sizes, and slowly growing disgusted with myself.  You know how that goes, "I feel like crap, I feel depressed, I'll eat some comfort food, Oh, that was good, but I ate too much,  Now I feel like crap".  Rinse & repeat!  This continued through my Senior year, and by Graduation I was up to 210 pounds.  I was miserable. What was I doing to myself?

Now, through all this I was dating the same man, eventually the man I married (and subsequently divorced).  He stuck with me through thick (very thick) and thin (we met in high school).  I grew in to a person that hated looking in the mirror, hated most clothing, and just slipped in to a deep depression.  He would try to support me, help me work out, eat better, but I just wasn't dedicated to this process.  I should have been, but I just didn't want it.

Throughout this entire time, I still worked out on a regular basis.  I just was never adjusting my caloric intake, or watching what I was eating at any time.  Honestly, I had a guy and didn't feel any real need to change myself.  This wasn't fair to him, as I needed to make a commitment to health (if nothing else).  Eventually we divorced in 2009, and I had motivation.  I got myself down to 159 pounds, but even though the scale showed a great number I wasn't happy.

For the following 2 1/2 years after the divorce, I dated a man.  This relationship was very, very unhealthy (I can say that now, but man was I devastated when he broke up with me).  I slowly put on all the weight I had lost, plus an additional 29 pounds. Yep, that's right folks, I was up to 239 pounds.  If I was unhappy with myself before, I was miserable now.  Nothing fit, I didn't want to leave the house, and now I was single (and having to take a long, close look at my life).  I went home to visit with my parents, and to see if I could get my head on straight.  There's nothing like a "no shit" conversation with your Grandma & Mother to get you back on track!  I came out of that 3 day visit feeling a lot better about what had happened, and knowing that changes needed to be made.  So, I knew what I needed to do, but could I do it?

The following week I started getting back in to the gym on a regular basis, which to me is 4-5 days a week.  I was trying some classes (Zumba, Spinning, Yoga), and getting back on the treadmill & weights.  During my first 30 days back I lost 10 pounds.  I noticed a lot of energy coming back, and I felt a lot better about this journey I had started.  I got back to working with my trainer, Dinos, and he introduced me to boxing.  Holy Cow!  Why had I not been doing this for a long time?!  Not only was I getting a great workout, but I was relieving so much stress and anger, too.  This opened a whole new reality for me, and I was digging it.

Soon after, I started doing Kickboxing & MMA style classes.  I loved learning all these different styles of martial arts.  I also loved how it made me feel, strong & powerful.  I was seeing pounds come off weekly.  By December I had lost an additional 22 pounds and was down to 199 pounds (Onederland!)!  I knew I still had a long way to go, but I was on a mission, and nothing was going to stop me...or so I thought!

(*side note - during this time I was watching what I was eating, but I was not starving myself.  My daily caloric intake was between 1500-1800 calories.  I still ate what I wanted to, just in moderation.  Starving yourself does NOT work).

Well, wouldn't you know that something had to give.  In December I found out that I wouldn't have a job for much longer.  This meant that I couldn't afford working with a trainer. Even worse, I no longer had a gym to workout in either (I had taken a job at my gym, which paid for my membership & gave me great motivation to work out).  I became very stressed out, and here came that cycle....yep, over the next 45 days I slowly gained 10 pounds.  I just had no motivation to do anything, and I wasn't treating my body very well.  I took a long look in the mirror, and reminded myself that I was worth losing weight for.

So, I Googled gyms in my area, found one that was a block from my apartment (Woohoo!).  Even better, they offered a 21 day trial, that included personal training for free (there had to be a catch, right?!).  I walked over, met with the owner, and started my trial.  The Owner asked me a lot of questions about my exercise history, so I told her...EVERYTHING!  She was so empathetic, and truly listened to me.  I was shocked, and felt so comfortable at this new gym.  She then said that she was going to be hiring some more people to do member services, and asked me to come in to interview.  I got a work out in that day, and took an application with me.  I have a Bachelor's Degree, but in this economy a job is income, regardless of what you are doing.  I went in the next day, interviewed, and was hired.  I solved two problems by going in to Go Fitness that day.  I was thrilled, and ready to get back on track.

Fast forward a month, and here I am.  Still at 209 pounds, but starting the second half of my weight-loss journey.  I started the 5 Week Metabolic Challenge yesterday.  This is not some crazy gimmick.  It's heavily monitored by a trainer, includes nutrition education, and gives you specific workouts to do when you aren't working with your trainer.  I won't lie, it isn't going to be easy, but I am a fighter.  I want this.  I want to get my athletic build back.  I want to live a long, healthy life.  Hell, I want to be able to walk up the stairs to my apartment without wheezing! I truly feel that I am on the right path.  I have a great Coach in Kathleen, and I have some support systems in awesome friends & family (and not to mention an amazing boyfriend that assists & motivates me, too).  After one day I feel a change.  I feel that old Jamie coming through.  I liked her, and don't know why I put her in a fat suit.

This blog will follow my journey, failures, successes, and measurements.  This will help me be accountable, & keep me moving forward. I know I can do this, I believe in myself.  I am just hoping that by keeping myself continually on track, that I can help someone else that has gotten in a rut (or the dreaded plateau).  We are all working on some type of journey, so I hope that you can find some sort of inspiration from this.  Please feel free to comment, question, or tell your story.  Here goes nothing...

Day 1 Measurements:
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 209
Body Fat: 36.8%

Goal (6 months):
Height: 5'4" (wish I could grow!)
Weight: 170
Body Fat: 26%